Eventually, many people who’ve dealt with frequent invalidation begin to block out their emotions.
The second idea is that when children in a family are continually invalidated by their parents, they start to give them what the children think they want: saying and doing things which literally invite other people to invalidate them. I at first thought that maybe Linehan was re-discovering the wheel, but then I went back to the old book to look at how they defined disqualification.
But I don’t think your house is on fire – I think in this instance your anxiety is getting the best of you.
Let’s take a few deep breaths together.” A few minutes later, she was calm again.
I wanted to validate my friend’s emotions, even though I knew her house was probably not on fire.
“I know how much you worry about things like this, and it seems like that fire truck really triggered your anxiety.